Three Essential Skills For Communication Success

Communication is arguably the most important human skill there is. As human beings, all our interactions are based on some form of communication. Regardless of your age, your occupation or your social status, communication is vital not only for your survival, but also for your happiness and prosperity. There are some essential skills for communication success that we can all adopt to become more effective as human beings.Whether is be in business, with your children or with your spouse, the essential skills for communication success will not only improve every aspect of your life, but will transform it. If you really think about it, all failure and unhappiness eventually boils down to poor communication. Poor business is the result of poor communication. Poor relationships are the result of poor communication. The challenge is that we never really get taught how to communicate properly. It’s usually just something that we pick up along the way and we usually pick it up from people who are poor communicators to start with.If you’ve ever had the privilege of meeting a great communicator you will know just how attractive they are. Great communicators are magnetic. They are charismatic and people feel a natural tendency to listen and respond to them. They are not only effective, but they are gracious and they really have the ability to influence other people – not in a deceptive kind of way, but in a highly respectful and trustworthy way. So, what are these essential skills for communication success? Well, there are many and most of them are not really what you think they are. These communication skills are not necessarily verbal skills, but rather skills of character. Here are three essential skills for communication success:1. Creating RapportRapport is often misunderstood as a skill that some NLP specialist apply to get people to respond to them. The truth is that we all use the concept of Rapport all the time. Rapport is a state of responsiveness when two people ‘click’ on a subconscious level. When two people establish a subconscious connection there is something that goes to work underneath the surface of verbal communication and they feel a real connection towards each other. This happens all the time between people, although it is mostly unconscious. Dr. Milton Ericsson was one of the first to discover this remarkable phenomenon when he spent inordinate amounts of time observing human interaction. His discoveries were nothing short of remarkable and he managed to lay some ground rules for establishing rapport with people and he turned it into a science and something that you can do consciously. The ability to create rapport is not only the most important, but probably the most essential skills for communication success. Without rapport you simply won’t get your message across to someone else.2. Active ListeningThe ability to listen and absorb what someone else is communicating to you is just as important as what you communicate to them. Communication is always a two way process. People who are ineffective at communicating are mostly self absorbed and only interested in their own point of view and in their own opinions. The ability to listen is one of the essential skills for communication success as it will enable you to establish rapport and also to establish what’s most important to the person (or people) you are communicating to. If you actively listen to other people you will be able to establish what their needs, wants and desires really are. Realize that 95% of the time people are absorbed in their own self interests, and we are constantly evaluating how things will impact and effect ourselves. Once again, this is an unconscious process. It’s not selfish – it’s just the way it is and it can be tied back to our self preservation. To be a highly effective communicator you have to learn how to suspend your self interest and really listen to others and their needs. This will empower you to truly respond to them and in return, you will get a real response from them.3. The Power of QuestionsHaving a conversation is based on the simple process of asking and answering questions. Talking usually occurs when there are no questions involved and without involvement there’s no conversation. A very simple truth of human interaction is that until and unless we fee involved, we simply don’t respond and questions are one of the most important ‘tools’ with which we establish people’s needs and make them feel involved. The ability to ask effective questions is another critical and essential skills for communication success. Using questions is one of the most basic ways to establish a relationship with someone and when used effectively, you can instantly get through to people when you know what to ask them and how to ask it.These three essential skills for communication success will greatly enhance your ability to get through to people and to influence them in a positive and constructive way. We all have the need to be heard at some level. Highly effective communicators have certain skills that enable them to be heard with effortless ease. You will often find that bad communicators have to scream, shout or use foul language to be heard. They are rarely effective and usually gain very little respect and response from the people they communicate with. You can become an effective communicator, regardless of your current level of skill or ability. It is something that you can learn and cultivate.